gemisht

On New Years Eve they showed the typical shows rounding up the highlights, and I guess the lowlights, of the year that was. The kids and hubby couldn’t understand why I was upset after they showed photos of Jane McGrath and Kerryn McCann, both of whom lost their battle with breast cancer during 2008. They both leave behind husbands and young kids, and the thought of their kids growing up without their Mums just strikes at my heart.

Then I spoke to a friend on the phone and she mentioned 2 of her co-workers were battling breast cancer.

Apparently I went to bed with this all still going through my mind. I had the most realistic dream I have had for years, if not ever.

In the dream I went for a biopsy to check masses that had shown up during previous testing. The pain in my right breast from the biopsy during the dream was so real I can still almost feel it. I remember knowing I was dreaming but still being curled up in bed in the foetal position and in pain.

I then had to go to the Doctor to get the results of the biopsy and work out what the plan was, if any. She told me to go straight down to physio and organise a pair of crutches because I was going to be so sick from it all that I would need them (I fail to see the logic there, but I was dreaming so who am I to argue……)

What has me freaked out is how real it seemed, despite the fact that at the time I knew I was dreaming, and the pain that I felt from the “biopsy”.

Needless to say, I will be off to the Doctors early next week for referrals or whatever I need to get this checked out, if nothing else to put my mind at rest.

I hope that it all turns out to be a dream and nothing more. With no family history of breast cancer and my age being on the low side of the risk factors, everything should be ok, I just need to know for sure. I will let you all know once I have been to get everything checked out.

Bloody good way to freak yourself out for the beginning of a New Year huh????

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As I write this for those of us in Sydney its already 2009, so Happy New to all of you.

All I can say is thank goodness 2008 is over. Its been one hell of a year - the highs have been really high and the lows really low and the in-between just felt like coasting between the two.

It all started on such a high (literally) when Hubby, the kids and I climbed Mt Kosciuszko on New Years Day 2008. All 2208 metres of it, and a 12km round trip of walking. Mostly it was hot too, so much for the altitude reducing the temperature!!!!

Then some of it stayed on a high and the rest just, well, collapsed. I did read in the paper a couple of weeks ago that its been a bad year all round because of the alignment of the planets and that next year is set to be better.

So to briefly tell you about the lows, the biggest one has been the journey with Daisy. Most, if not all of you, know that something has been going on, but maybe not what. I have been trying to find out if she is on the Autism spectrum, more specifically if she fits the description of someone with Asperger’s Syndrome. After 3 psychologist visits, 3 paediatrician appointments and 1 appointment with the Developmental Psychologist and 2 observations of her at school, I am really none the wiser. We have also had speech therapy every Saturday too. The whole process has felt like a rollercoaster ride and I still feel not much wiser in some ways, and in other ways a lot wiser. The latest from the Paediatrician is that he agrees with Aspergers but hasn’t diagnosed it formally, rather she is just “quirky”, but that she definitely has ADHD-Innattentive (ADHD-I) and ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder).  Apparently medication doesn’t work so well for ADHD-I so we need to try some other strategies to manage the every day things that we need to do at home. Also, because of the ODD, apparently normal discipline techniques don’t work (Yeah tell me about it when I have to get her out the door every morning) so we need to try some alternatives. I have spoken to her school about it and they will implement some more specific things for her next year, including access to the learning support teacher and the school counsellor.

This has been I guess not so much of a low but really an up and down emotional roller coaster ride. We at least have some direction for next year and the Paed wants to see us to review how things are going around March.

Then there was the marriage-stopping moment that we hit in August. Only through lots of talking, and a trip away, did we get through that one.

So, in an effort to not dwell on the negative, here are my positives for 2008:

1: The four of us climbed Mt Kosciuszko on New Years Day (no mean feat considering none of us were extremely fit)

2: Tiger recieved a Distinction and a Credit for his 1st and 2nd Grade Trumpet exams respectively, in only his 2 year of playing trumpet.

3: I started my blog, something that I had wanted to do for a long time. I can’t believe it has been almost a year already. I got to meet some wonderful people online through my blog, and even met some in the flesh. Amazing!!!!!!!

4: I was accepted into Uni and survived 2 semesters and 5 subjects with a very good result for all my subjects, and I am loving it

5: The rest of the family survived me studying

6: Daisy received an award at her end of year presentation day for “Most Outstanding Improvement”. This is big enough let alone everything that we have been through this year. Needless to say, I shed some tears when I found out she was getting an award, I think it was pure relief.

7: We had the best Christmas Day I can remember for a long time - we had my family and Hubby’s family here on Christmas Day. There was much food and alcohol consumed and everyone had a great time. That’s how it should be isn’t it?………

8: Hubby realised a long held dream and we got this as our family Christmas present:

Ours is a little different to the picture but it gives you an idea of what it is. For those that want the details, it is 18ft long, with a 2ft swim platform at the stern (back) and it has a V6 Mercruiser inboard (sterndrive) which just purrrrrrrrsssssss. And it goes FAST!!!!!  Hubby and I have worked on a happy medium of division of jobs and his job is to do the car and trailer bits and mine is to get the boat on and off the trailer and dock it so I can pick him up. With the exception of docking, the on and off the trailer bit really appeals to the revhead in me, cause I have to almost floor it to get it on and off *insert Tim the Toolman grunts*. All jokes aside, we are having great fun with it so far and it means that we have spent time as a family with little or no distraction. So far, we have put the boat in in the upper reaches of the Harbour and travelled down to the Harbour Bridge and also the Hawkesbury River, where the kids had their first go at water-skiing.

So I wish you all the best for 2009. I hope that you manage to see some dreams realised and that you and yours are healthy and happy. I know that for a lot of people 2008 has not been kind, including me, so I hope that 2009 is kinder to everyone, despite the forecasts for economic doom and gloom.

At the beginning of a New Year when we all face so much uncertainty, I hope that everyone finds some certainty in their lives.

Here’s to a virtual toast - Happy 2009 to all of you

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The Big Day is here, for some it’s almost over. We have had a house full of family here today, with much laughter, fun, food and of course just a little bit of alcohol. Oh, and lots of presents too. Mainly for the kids Another great Christmas spending time with family, most of whom we don’t get to see enough of during the year.As another year draws to an end, its a time of reflection on the year just gone and lots of predictions and hope for the year ahead. I’ll post more on the year that has been closer to New Year’s, but Christmas seems to be a time of general reflection, almost as much as the New Year.

So my wish for you all for this Christmas, regardless of whether you celebrate it or not, and if so how, is that it is filled with much love, laughter and happiness and spending time with those that you care about, be they family or friends.

For those that need it, I also wish for forgiveness and peace. Not necessarily world peace, but inner peace.

I know, I’m a bit of a dreamer sometimes, but without dreams you have nothing to strive for. And no-one ever said that dreams have to be attainable, they just have to be dreams. Or goals, I guess it depends on how you look at it.

To my husband, thank you for another wonderful Christmas, at the end of another great year. I love you. And to my kids, thank you for the magic that kids put into Christmas, it truly is wonderful. I love you both.

All my very best wishes to all of you for Christmas. I hope that the holiday season is good to you and stay safe and well all of you.

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Anja posted this meme and I put my hand up for a letter. First of all, the rules for the meme are as follows:

You leave a comment on this post and I’ll assign you a letter. You write about ten things you love that begin with your assigned letter, and post it at your place. When people comment on your list, you give them a letter, and the chain continues on and on.

You DO NOT have to do the meme if you only want to comment. Tell me if you want to do it. Otherwise you will not be tagged.

My nominated letter is “L” - here goes:

1. Love -because it makes the world go round. There are so many types of love and so many feelings associated with love, from unconditional love to romantic love and loving ourselves. I don’t mean vanity, I mean thinking enough of ourselves, knowing that we are all worthwhile and worthy of love and respect.

2. Letters - who doesn’t love to get old fashioned snail mail. Remember the good old days (OK so maybe some of you aren’t old enough) when snail mail was the only option? And letters declaring someone’s undying love - that’s the stuff old fashioned romance is made of

3. Lamb - When its roasted, its one of the ultimate comfort foods - with gravy and roast vegies of course.

4. Laughter - It really is the best medicine. How good is it when you laugh so hard your belly aches? Yeah it aches, but its worth it. And some days, if you don’t laugh you’ll cry, so better to laugh I say

5. Lawn - the smell of it freshly mowed and walking barefoot in it.

6. Learning - none of us should ever stop learning, whether its a conscious effort or just learning from our own mistakes. Only an arrogant person says that they have nothing else to learn

7. Lemon - the best accompaniment to my favourite food - seafood. Especially oysters, apparently they are an aphrodisiac………

8. Language - This is so much more than just words and without it we would all be lost in a world of no communication. How boring and quiet would life be. We humans are social beings and it is impossible to be social in any way without language.

9. Luggage - great if its yours, even better if its mine, cause then it means I am going somewhere.

10. Lunar - I find the moon fascinating and very soothing. There is just something about it. And it has an impact on all of us in ways we can’t begin to imagine as well as things like the tides. What an amazing thing our moon is.

So, there’s my 10 things. If you want to do the meme, then let me know in the comments and I will send you a letter

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I’m not sure to be honest, it was probably the pain making me crazy. Or at least turning molehills into mountains. How could giving up blogging be a good thing??? Ummm, it wouldn’t be, for lots of reasons. But my reasoning was a little distorted, to say the least.

Early in November I was in a little bit of pain from an abscessed tooth. But there was a problem - my Uni exams were about a week later and I couldn’t miss them, right???? So, I did what any needle-phobic student with exams looming would do, went into denial and just took painkillers. I thought it was a great idea, just keep popping Nurofen Plus (ibuprofen and codeine in one marvellous tablet) and everything will be OK. I got the first exam done and then the next day (Friday) I admitted defeat and went to the Dentist. She gave me a script for antibiotics and an appointment was made for the Monday (straight after my second exam) to have the tooth out.

Remember that bit about me being needle-phobic??? That means for me to go to the Dentist and have a needle I have to have someone with me to calm my nerves a bit and squeeze the life out of their hand while the needle goes in. Right, Hubby lined up to take some time off work and come with me. We waited almost an hour in the waiting room and still no sign that I would be seeing the Dentist any time soon. By this time I was a sobbing mess at the anticipation of having to have a needle. I was close to being physically sick so we walked out. After talking to the Dentist about my needle phobia, another appointment was made for the Wednesday night and I was going to have to go by myself *gulp*.

After an hour and a half in the chair, I left with one tooth less than I walked in with, a stitch in my mouth where the tooth was and a script for some super pain killers. Oh, and a tendency to dribble after having a local anaesthetic . So the plan was now that the tooth was gone and the antibiotics finished all would improve. WRONG!!!!!!! It got worse……. I had Dry Socket (that link is to Wikipedia and gives an easy to understand explanation if you have never heard of it). The pain was worse than the abscess had been. I struggled to get through every day for another week and a half. I was so miserable because I wasn’t expecting to get worse, I was in pain and I couldn’t eat anything that required chewing at all. I guess the upside is I did lose a bit of weight.

This was about the time that I posted that I wasn’t going to blog anymore. I really wasn’t keeping my head above water and I was getting behind at work and at home. I really felt at the time that the best option was to remove any online distractions, including my blog. The other online things are gone, except for Aussie Bloggers Forum and I have decided to keep my blog going, for a few reasons.

Early this year I decided that this was going to be a year for me to do things just for me and the two big things are Uni and blogging. To give up now with the blogging would mean giving up something that I love doing. Not just the blogging, but the friendships formed through blogging and the people that I have met, both online and in real life. That means too much to me to give it up.

So, if anyone still has me in the readers, or their blogroll, then I am officially back

Things are looking up a lot - I have had 3 or 4 days with no painkillers and my Uni results are in and even with the tooth dramas I still managed to pass both units. So now I have time with family and friends over Christmas and two weeks off work for relaxing to look forward to. Bring it on.

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I gotta go. No more blogging for me.

Thanks for everything to all of you, if you’re still reading. I’m not planning on being back, my domain name is up for renewal fairly soon so I won’t be renewing it.

We all have mountains to climb, mine at the moment needs my undivided attention. I wish all of you luck with your own mountains and look after yourselves.

There are many that I wouldn’t have got to know without blogging so I will be eternally grateful for that. Some of you have touched my life in ways I can’t begin to describe. Thanks for all the support, fun, laughter and friendship.

I might see you somewhere around the Blogosphere.

Take care

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Back in January, not long after I joined the Aussie Bloggers Forum, Anonymum and I started talking via messages at the Forum and emails. From the start, we just clicked and got on really well. We have since got to know each other quite well and we talk a lot. And I mean A LOT. Usually we talk via text message these days as well as messages on the Forum and email.

It seems that we have a lot in common, not least of all the same warped and weird sense of humour. Which makes us both laugh and I’m sure, leaves others in our wake shaking their heads trying to work us out. And if anyone has heard or seen her refer to me as “Blondie”, thats because of my blondeness - I am blonde and I am a blonde sometimes - a source of great amusement

When Anonymum found out that DH and I were going to be in Cairns and Port Douglas, she suggested that it was the perfect opportunity for her and Mark to have a weekend away and for us to meet face to face. So dates and accomodation were organised and a couple of possible restaurants for dinner. And like the couple of kids that we are, we started counting the sleeps until that Saturday. There were many posts in the Shout Box at the Forum, text messages and emails counting the sleeps.

Finally the day arrives for us to meet and my phone beeped at 6am with a text message - “Guess what, no more sleeps”. LOL, lucky I was awake.

DH and I spent the morning in the main town of Port Douglas strolling around the shops. I think that he knew he needed to keep me busy so that the nerves and excitement didn’t get the better of me. We went back to the hotel and sat by the pool and I counted the hours and minutes till they arrived. Finally Anonymum and Mark arrived at the hotel we were staying at and as we approached the car park to meet them there, this voice screams from one end to the other “Yo, Blondie!!!!”

The four of us spent the afternoon talking and drinking and talking and laughing. And both husbands just kept shaking their heads at us. I think that they are both relieved to know that they aren’t the only one with a crazy wife. We then went our separate ways to meet up later for dinner. We then ate, talked, laughed, drank, ate, laughed and talked some more. Sunday morning we met up at the Markets in Port Douglas, had a wander around, had some lunch and then it was time for Anonymum and Mark to leave.

The weekend went way too fast and we all had a great time. I didn’t really feel that I was meeting her for the first time though, I guess because we have got to know each other so well over the last few months. Honestly, it felt more like a catch up after not seeing each other for a while.

To a wonderful friend, it was so great to meet you face to face, and thank you for the effort of driving 4 and a half hours each way. And thank you to Mark as well. I know you said that its not a long way to drive but I want you to know that we both appreciate it. Here’s to lots more friendship, fun and laughter. Hopefully in person again and sooner rather than later.

Oh, and its just over 100 sleeps till my birthday…………..

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When you hold your child’s hand in yours, you hold so much more than just their hand. You’re holding all their trust in you as well as their hope. And their belief that you can make the world right for them. And you tell them with that simple gesture that the 2 of you are a united force. You will stand together no matter what you meet along the way.

You wonder whether you are truly up to the task. Are they right to place so much trust in you, and all their faith. It seems so daunting to have that asked of you. What about all the things out my control??? What if I can’t change everything???? What if the world won’t be right, what if I can only make it a little better, is that enough???

And then those huge, brown eyes look at you. The eyes that are so deep you could drown in them. The eyes that are so filled with hope, love and trust and just a little bit of a smile, because Mum is there holding her hand.

At that moment, you realise that you have to be up to the task, you have to do what it takes, you have to have the strength for the 2 of you.

She is trusting me and I have to do my best. I have to keep going, no matter how hard or futile it seems. I have to believe in myself for her sake, if nothing else. I have to believe that I can make a difference for her, she is still too young to do it herself. There are some battles she can fight, but not this, she doesn’t really understand the battle, but she knows something is happening.

To my Daisy, I love you and I will fight for you for as long as it takes. I need to see that smile every day, to see your eyes smiling as well as your face. And I will hold your hand for as long as you need me to.

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So, in the war against telemarketing, its 1 point to me, 0 to them, for tonight anyway. And before I tell you what happened, there’s a few things you need to know first.

1. There are 2 main providers for home phones here, Telstra and Optus. And in the interests of full disclosure, our home phone is with Telstra.
2. We have Caller ID, ironically it seems, provided by Telstra
3. When someone calls and they have an unlisted number or businesses (like Telstra) who don’t want you to know what number they are calling from, it comes up on the caller ID as “private number” . When someone calls from overseas, it comes up on the Caller ID as “Out of Area”. Remember these OK?
4. My parents are overseas at the moment. I have one foot in the dog house because my Mother called last Friday, I saw “Out of Area” on the phone and didn’t answer. She started to leave a message and then I realised it was her. Oooops.
5. At 6pm tonight, I had a guy at the front door trying to sell me some irresistible deal from Telstra. Don’t they think that we need to prepare and eat dinner????

So when the phone rang tonight, Tiger picked it up and told me it said “Out of Area”, and of course I told him he had better answer it, in case it was the Grandparents and I end up with 2 feet in the dog house. 2 seconds later he hands the phone to me, rolls his eyes and says “Telemarketing Mum!!!”. I get on the phone and this is how the conversation went:

Me: (in a slightly annoyed tone) Hello?

Her: Good Evening Ma’am, I’m calling from Telstra. Are you with Telstra or Optus for your home phone?

Me: Well, you tell me. If you’re calling from Telstra surely you know whether I am a customer or not.

Her: Sorry Ma’am, we don’t have that information, we are calling from the sales department.

Me: And where are you calling from?

Her: Telstra sales department

Me: In India right??? (i’m venturing into dangerous territory here, they all deny using overseas call centres)

Her: No, from Telstra in Sydney

Me: BULLSHIT!!!!

Her: I’m sorry?

Me: BULLSHIT!!!!!

And she hung up on me!!!! Amazing, it worked quicker than I thought it would. And I didn’t dare to dream that she would hang up on me. That worked like a dream.

What annoys me though is that we have Caller ID as I mentioned, so when are the Telco’s going to realise that their customers aren’t stupid and know the difference between a private number and an overseas call????. Apparently not soon enough. And don’t start me on the Federal Government’s “Do Not Call Register”. Does that mean I would be getting more calls if I wasn’t registered???? What a waste of time that is.

Bring it on then. I like a bit of verbal altercation with telemarketers. It makes the evenings more interesting.

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Peter Pan! I just figured out I have not updated this since they invented sliced bread… You would not believe how insane my life has become. I hope you still love me!.

I swear on the bones of my ancestors if one more person emails me to ask why I haven’t posted today I will start posting pictures of toe fungus, or fecal murals. You wanna test me? Assuming I don’t get distracted by counting my chest hairs..

I know, it says I wrote it, but I didn’t. Honest. Its from The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator, launched today over at Aussie Bloggers. The possibilities are amazing so go and have a play and see what you come up with.

Its been just over six months since the Forum was launched and the Blog was launched 3 weeks later.Its a great place to meet people who are willing to share a wealth of information about blogging. THere are also lots of other discussions going on about a huge range of subjects from “What’s for Dinner” to Dexter which has just started on free-to-air TV over here. Finally, I can read the Dexter thread

So if you’re an Aussie, a blogger or just want to meet a great bunch of people and learn more about blogging then wander over to the Forum and say “Hi”.

Happy Birthday Aussie Bloggers !!!! Here’s to many more months of success and fun.

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